Today was Brianna’s first day at her new Waldorf Kindergarten. She began public school Kindergarten in September and after the first day there had such extreme separation anxiety for over one month that it was affecting her eating, she was nauseous and shaking each morning and I just could not put her through another day of it.
We took a break for a few months and regrouped. I was open to whatever she needed whether that be homeschooling or a new school. When we visited the Waldorf school she was instantly drawn into its beauty and couldn’t stop talking about it. She actually expressed interest in going to school again and was excited about it – something brand new for us.
I’ve wanted my children to go there since they were born, but Waldorf school is expensive and it just seemed out of our reach, especially with a large family. But Brianna has shown us that nothing is truly out of reach if we just *trust*… trust that each child has their own pace and path and they cannot all fit into one mold…. trust that the universe will provide us with what we need to do what is meant to be done…. and most importantly to trust ourselves, our instincts, our inner-knowing – that feeling within ourselves telling us what is right for us and for our family.
Maybe, just maybe it isn’t out of reach for my other girls either. We will see.
And yes there were tears this morning… a lot of them. Brianna is highly sensitive in so many ways and any new school will bring those feelings up inside of her.
But there was such a difference in how we were received this time around. At her last school, when she was crying and raised her hand up to be held by the Principal – the woman held her books up higher and did not hold my little girls hand. She expected her to get through it. I remember feeling that it was such a cold way to receive a child who needs something more…
But here, I felt warmth. There were warm hugs (for both of us) and loving kisses – and there were caring and concerned new friends. And when I got home, there were phone calls from friends of mine who knew this was a special and difficult morning for both Brianna and I. And I feel ok inside. I know my baby is in the right place. I hope she feels it too.
On my way back to the car, her teacher gave me a little handwork project to work on to keep my mind off things… I have to embroider a little snail on Brianna’s new canvas bag for school.
So off I go to try to replicate the one her teacher did on her new little napkins….
Wish us luck.