– One of the best feelings in the world should be coming home. Home is not always a place you go to. It is the people who love you. It is safe and steady. I always wanted my children to feel that way. If you don’t feel that way, ask yourself why. I’m so lucky to have a wonderful partner who is my home, my safe place and my best friend. You deserve that too.
I went for a long bike ride today to clear my mind. It was the first ride I’ve taken in my beautiful new town since we moved here last summer. God I feel so free on that bike. It is one of my absolute favorite things ever to do. Feeling the wind and smelling the fresh air.. and the beautiful things that I saw. So many beautiful things that I tried to capture with my lens but cannot even begin to describe in photos and words.
I had intended to maybe just go around my block but I kept going.. and going.. and going. For miles. I do this a lot. I start driving or riding and just go with no idea of where I am going. I wander, often.. to wild places. I didn’t know the roads or the area much. I just rode. And I stopped when I saw something beautiful or needed to breathe. About 5 miles in I ended up at the bottom of such a steep hill and had no idea where I was. I began to worry that I wouldn’t be able to make it back home.
But I did make it. And I almost made it halfway up that steep hill. Almost.
I rode about 12 miles I think. I guess I needed it. I’m feeling a lot of things this week so I rode my bike. And it was so good.
Things I learned and remembered during today’s ride:
– Sometimes where you think you are going ends up very different than what you imagined.
– Nobody will understand your journey the way you do. This is your ride and people will judge you no matter which way you go. Just go.. be a good human being with good intentions and do your best, then go forth and let it go. Anyone who is still having issue with you, is really struggling with themselves.
– Switching gears is necessary to be able to navigate the roads in your life. Never be afraid to switch gears when you need to or you may spin out.
– Being alone with yourself is good. You are born alone and will die alone. Being comfortable with that is so very important and puts so much in perspective.
– There will always be more “important” things that need to be done. This life is now. Slow down. Enjoy the moment and don’t feel guilty for doing so. You have one life to live. That’s it.
– Perception is so important. The hill is only unmanageable when you look too far ahead or listen to others who say it is a certain way. Look down at the road in front of you to form your own opinions, and you will get pulled along.
– If you keep trying and trying and it still isn’t working. It is ok to hop off the ride. It’s ok to stop and sit down and let go. It is ok to turn around and go a different way. Nothing can be forced. You can only do the best you can.
– Sometimes the only person who can appreciate where you are, where you’ve been or where you are going – is you. This is ok.
I’m not sure if I left my ride solving anything much. I read somewhere yesterday that if after you have tried, and tried again looking for a way to solve a problem, you still have not found the answer… then it may simply be not so much a problem you have to solve but a fact you need to accept. I think those are wise words as hard as they may be.